My parents also felt guilty that a new baby upset my older sister’s only-child status.) She was the calmest I’d ever seen her I think. The strange thing that has baffled me is that I am the SG despite being more successful than my sister most of my life.

Even if an alcoholic or drug addict doesn’t have an underlying Cluster B disorder, the behavior of an active addict/alcoholic is very similar to someone who has NPD.

A year after “disownment” parents wanted contact again.

That part bothers me the most and why it is such a great thing to be no contact with siblings that used their children, the nieces and nephews I wanted to love, to stick it to me too. These bullies come to steal your happiness and your entire being. . I am. Now In the last six months trying to heal from a narcissistic relationship and learning about myself, him and others. They don’t like them, and they aren’t going to hide it, regardless of the repercussions. No response. Oh my God! Their personality is very much alike. Nobody helped me or even cared when I had children. Sister said, “Mother said … and … and I believe it!” I had to start laughing! I’m absolutely no contact with my mother. However, that being said, my belief is the damage to the scapegoat’s psyche can only be repaired to certain extent. I am 4 years no contact with older malignant NGCS ..went through hell and back between her and NM for 14 yrs. They will pick at their entire being. Other people’s faults become the golden child’s focus, instead of their own. The situation by this stage is too far gone, and the relatively good-natured enabling parent can’t get the situation between the two children under control because the narcissist isn’t on the same page as them. Just a few side-notes to consider: 1. My sister found out (she googled him) and ended up hiring a private investigator to find out everything she could about him and then went on to tell 8 of my closest friends and relatives which resulted in 2 “interventions” by “friends” and tension with everyone I am close to. Thank you for the best article ever written about this problem. I feel less alone for having found your site X. Hi Twinkle, thankyou for your lovely words. That’s how I felt anyway. A sick cycle that is lose-lose for the real scapegoat.

A golden child who has undergone narcissistic parenting might have these following psycho-emotional problems when they grow up: The above-mentioned truths portray the costly side effect of favoritism. They can put themselves in someone else’s shoes, and feel their pain. Reprinted with permission from the author. Wow! My head is battered and my heart is breaking because I just don’t know where to put all the hurt of the pain I’ve been put through , Hi Jess, you are very welcome. Empathy is often taught. I will also lose quite an inheritance of money, so I’m told. When the moment came, the decision was quite easy. She always made dad to assume the blame, I knew better, mind you he allowed her to do so, I guess to keep the peace for himself , as well. My sister is three years older than me and our older brother was the golden child. She would admit that they don’t have a good relationship, but she thinks it has caused no major damage or no problems in her life. Its a common theme. They never back down on this integrity, and they usually go on to have very fulfilling lives. Tiffany, the second to youngest child in a family of six children, sits in the bottom right hand corner. My mother is a somatic narcissist, overt and probably malignant, extremely domineering and image conscious. They literally set a milestone for their fellow-students. Then to my surprise and concern he casually kicked off his shoes and stepped into the stream and stood standing in the middle, hands on his hips, looking into the trees above him and smiling contentedly. Thanks for listening, S. Fantastic article. Interestingly, what you described as the golden child teaming up with the narc parent, is what my sister did with my mother. BTW, Tiffany Sedaris was an artist with a great deal of talent. Of course I was raised that we “should all get along” and they have made me the bad guy because I am not in relationship with my sister right now. The Golden Child convinced our Narc Mother to sell it immediately and buy a bigger, more modern home. She died later that year, which was my brothers’ desire, and then said that my sister deserved no inheritance at all because “she didn’t have the sophistication to understand the things money could do for her” (as if that could possibly be true for a woman had trouble holding even the most menial a job). The Golden Child felt slighted thinking he should inherit all. In spite of their raucous and jovial manner, Clowns are likely to be depressed because they have never learned to confront or deal with their true feelings. Alcohol and drugs are their attempt to fill the emptiness they feel inside themselves.

The part about ruining the scapegoats reputation really hit home. However, if the scapegoat loses it because they can’t tolerate the golden child’s abuse anymore, they will never hear the end of it from the narcissistic parent. I’m a good person who was made into a people pleaser, just hurts deeply when you realise you have never been loved and always used as trash can, mostly due to your good traits that the narc hates to see as it reminds them of their weaknesses. Scapegoats are often very successful people. Is that it in a nutshell? The narcissistic child as a replica of the narcissistic parent.

They used to phone him three times a day about trivial things but if they were annoyed they wouldn’t answer the phone for weeks. My brother is extremely furious and hateful toward me. If a child isn’t pulled up on their ill-treatment of others and given consequences for it, then they don’t learn the difference between kindness and unkindness. She once screamed at me for an hour and a half for reading a book on a different religion. Learn and talk and support better laws and child protection services.

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